What does Hispanic Heritage Month mean to you?

During this year’s Hispanic Heritage Month, I was asked to write a piece for a committee dedicated to multiculturalism and social justice for the college in which I adjunct. The question posed to me was: What does the month mean to you? I spent the next 48 hours thinking about this question. I recalled the many Hispanic Heritage Month celebrations I put on when I was a high school teacher. I recalled the annual summit my nonprofit puts together yearly to support the personal, academic, and collective success of Latinx youth in the northwest suburbs of Chicago. I recalled engaging in webinars and workshops about empowering the Latinx community. Then my cognitive distortions kicked in.

I remember my elementary school teachers telling my mom not to speak Spanish to us (I have two older brothers) because it is hurting our English language acquisition. I remember my sixth-grade teacher telling me not to bubble in Latino/Hispanic on the standardized assessment because it is better for me to put White. I remembered a colleague telling me I was only hired to a prestigious district because of affirmative action. I remembered colleagues wishing me a happy Cinco de Mayo every year even though I told them I was Puerto Rican. I remember people asking me for recipes for tamales during Hispanic Heritage Month (again, I am Puerto Rican). I remember staff complaining that a colleague and I were speaking Spanish because they felt we were talking about them. Our comfort clearly needed to take a back space to theirs.

I remember wanting to start an equity coalition to close the “achievement gap” between our Latinx students and their white peers. I was told NO for years until I asked two white women to join me. Suddenly, the administration changed their minds…on one condition…I could not be the face of the coalition. I remember being labeled as the angry Latina (I see you Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Stay strong hermana!). I remember sitting in a conference room alone on one side of a large table (all white male administrators, my two white women colleagues, and me). When I asked why I was sitting alone, one of the administrators said, “Oh, I heard about you…” I remember my former boss telling me I need to learn to play by their rules or else.

I remember crying. I remember questioning myself. I remember shrinking. Then I remembered my abuelita. She experienced various setbacks in Puerto Rico and America and was smiling until her last day on Earth. I remembered my abuelito who worked (forced) the sugar cane fields in Puerto Rico as a little boy to survive and still managed to be the most humble, compassionate, and generous man (and he was a HUGE Cubs fan!). I remember my mom, who has fought for all BIPOC communities at the college she worked at for nearly 30 years. She is a force to be reckoned with and is my greatest advocacy influence. I remember my dad marching to my elementary school and telling off my sixth-grade teacher (thanks dad!). I remember who I am, a strong, beautiful, intelligent, bicultural, bilingual, Latina. I remember my two girls. They need to know they will have to fight and struggle as Afro-Latinas, and yet, they have all the protective factors they need to not only fight, but win. And they have their mama to have their back (remember the angry Latina).

So, what does Hispanic Heritage Month mean to me? It is a time to reflect and prepare. I am a Latina all year, not just for one month. However, I can use this month to reflect on myself and my Latinx identity. What new insights did I gain about myself? What have been my setbacks? What have been my accomplishments? What will be my next moves? All of these questions will increase my awareness and will lead to growth, an essential part of moving forward in life. As a professional counselor and educator, I have seen the power of reflection and creating and accomplishing goals. My most successful clients engage in these skills on a regular basis. They challenge their unhealthy thoughts. They write gratitude journals. They create vision boards. They make SMART goals and hold themselves accountable. They offer themselves compassion and forgiveness when setbacks occur. They ask for help when they need it. They use their resources and create new ones. They fail forward.

To all my Hispanics and Latinx familia, Happy Hispanic Heritage Month. The brown glass ceiling is real, so prepare your tool belt. Remember your resources, your strengths, and your supports. Check in with yourself to know what else you need to reach your goals. Don’t forget the importance of self-care and giving yourself a break. You cannot pour from an empty cup. I will leave you with the inspirational words of Gloria Anzaldúa: “May we dance in the face of our fears.”

article originally published in Reflejos newspaper October 1, 2021 https://reflejos.com/reflejos-10-01-2021/